


All The Devils Are Here.

by HexyQueen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Blood, Collars, Dark Loki (Marvel), Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dom Loki (Marvel), Dom/sub, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Feels, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Masturbation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mind Control, Multi, POV Multiple, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Punishment, Romance, Scarred, Sexual Tension, Shibari, Slow Burn, Violence, Violent Sex, Voice Kink, Voyeurism, misuse of magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:27:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24905305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HexyQueen/pseuds/HexyQueen
Summary: Dr Joan Hawthorne, a gifted young physicist/engineer working along side S.H.I.E.L.D, has the limits of her mind and body tested when she encounters Loki. Knowing what is at stake, Joan faces the task of taking herself down a dark path to save those she loves, and Loki is happy to lead her.Warning: The actions within this fic are to be enjoyed, and are not in anyway healthy or encouraged.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel) & Original Female Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 59





	1. Define Unusual

Chapter 1: Define Unusual

* * *

_Something’s happening_.

Her eyes snapped open as she bolted upright and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her breaths ragged, hands frantically reaching towards her phone that was vibrating against the bedside cabinet.

“Hello?” She said, rubbing her eyes. “Erik, what’s happening?”

“Joan, so sorry to wake you, I know it’s not your shift but-“ A loud whirring noise interrupted him, Joan held the phone away from her ear, “I need you to come down here, urgently!”

“I’m coming.” She replied before hanging up. Rushing to her feet, she grabbed whatever clothes she could- a black pair of overalls-and throwing them on over the S.H.I.E.L.D shirt she slept in, slipping on some odd socks and her trusty black laced boots. Picking up her loaded M9 slipping it into the waist holder, she collected her laptop bag, and ran out of her dorm and across the base to the testing facility.

A bolt of cool air hit her face as she opened the door to the bunker, descending the stairs two at a time, shouting down to mind out of her way to any passers-by, not caring if she looked mad.

_Something’s happening and something doesn’t sound good,_ she chanted in her head, reaching the last step and walking towards her colleague- she looked over towards the cradle and saw the blue cube at its core pulsing.

“Joan! My dear, once again I am so sorry to have woken you, I know we agre- My god you look like the dead.” Erik shouted over, as she approached.

“It sounded urgent, what’s up with Tessa?” She replied gesturing towards the tesseract, placing her laptop on a table.

“There are some disturbing readings, one minute she’s dormant the next- Another loud whir cut him off. “- well that happens.”

“Then there’s no need to be sorry for waking me.” Taking a hair band off her wrist she tied her short blonde hair into a low ponytail and got to work. “How long?”

“About two hours so far, happened just before I sent you to bed.”

“Has the director been informed?”

“Yes, he’s on his way- Agent Coulson will be with us shortly to oversee until he gets here.”

“Phil! My favourite babysitter!” She smiled widely as she began to delegate to those around her. Whilst most of the agents found it off putting for someone so young to be in a position of power, but Joan didn’t care, she had earned her place.

Being a prodigy and a woman was no easy task in this industry but she had made her mark on the world of Physics, earning her first PHD at 10, raking in 4 more before her 21st birthday- None could talk her down or make her feel unworthy of authority. After requesting radiation reading, she addressed a pair of guards.

“A staggered evac is a good option at this stage I think, wouldn’t you agree Dr Selvig?” Joan’s brilliant green eyes looked to him for assurance, Erik stood stunned for a moment.

“Agreed, Dr Hawthorne.” He replied, turning his eyes back to his calculations

“Marcus, please raise the alarm, we need the site empty by the time Fury’s here. Ramirez back up to the entrance, I don’t want any unnecessary personnel down here. Dismissed.”

“Yes Dr Hawthorne.” They replied in unison.

Sighing, Joan approached the tesseract, it pulsed brighter as she approached, the whirring was quieter but now constant.

“Easy Tessa darling, what’s going on?” She cooed, as she knelt down. Humming a lullaby her mother used to sing for her, she picked up a probe and lightly poked the object. Its lights fluttered as she did- nothing violent but it was almost like it was responding.

Raising an eyebrow, she stood and backed away. “Tessa doesn’t like us anymore Erik. What did you say to her?” She teased. Shaking his head Erik laughed.

“Same thing I said to my ex-wife-“

“I think we should probe other people?”

“Spot on, my dear.” Erik chuckled.

Soon the two doctors became too involved in their work to speak. Minutes sank into hours, all the while the tesseract grew more unpredictable- emitting shocks when probed and occasionally making the room shake.

Joan was concerned by this sudden behaviour shift and needed to know what may have caused it. As fortune would have it, the oracle she needed sat in his nest, his vigilant eyes would never leaving his target. While Erik worked on their calculations she walked to the back of the room and climbed the ladder to the ledge that housed her old buzzard.

“This seat taken?” Joan asked as she plonked herself down next to him. Copying his position, she let her legs swing off the platform, leaning on the bars to steady herself.

“Always got a space for ya kid.” Clint replied, eyes front never budging for a moment. “You look like shit by the way.”

Joan rolled her eyes, tempted to smack the smirk off his face.

“Thanks love.” She kicked her legs playfully like a child on a swing, looking down over at the chaos below.

“Nightmares again?” Clint asked, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing. Joan let out a small sigh, leaning her head against the railings.

“They’re getting worse.”

“You tell Nat before she left about them?”

“Nah, then she would have wanted to stay. Then Fury would get frustrated and uh yeah that would be a whole mess. Easier to just grin and rant to my work husband.” From the corner of her eye she caught him smile at that, a wave of safety fell over her and she couldn’t hold back from him.

“I see my parents sometimes.” She blurted out. “I see them bleeding again- just like how they- and I..I don’t know what to do.”

Clint rubbed her shoulder. “You need to tell Nat and you need to talk.”

“I know. I’ve been so focused on my research.”

A short silence fell over them, Clint knew better than to press her.

“Tell me love, anything unusual happen?”

“Define unusual, Joanie.”

“Any one tamper with it? Anything odd happen to trigger this?”

“No one would get the chance to tamper with it.” Clint said, patting his bow next to him. “And no. Nothing odd on our side.”

“Our side?” Joan asked.

“Well, way I see it kid, we got our little set up here, but what about the other side? You built the cradle, but what do we really know about what we are carrying.”

“What do you mean? We know it’s a power source an-“

“What do we really know Joanie?” Clint interrupted. “Do you think we really know what we are messing with here?”

She ran a hand across her forehead, then massaged her temple. “So, nothing happened, just potential gremlins from the “other side” you think?”

“Just a theory kid. You’re the brains, I’m just the eyes.” he said pointing to the tesseract at the centre of the room.

“You’re my favourite set of eyes.” Joan smiled, placing her arm around him. Clint returned the gesture and he squeezed her hard, reminiscing about when they used to be on lookout while she was still training with him. He often missed the scruffy 12-year-old who couldn’t string a bow to save her life, but he swelled with pride when he saw the woman she had become- confident, smart, powerful and skilled.

Soon Joan broke their embrace and stood herself up. “I am gonna go grab a tea from the kitchen. You want anything darling?”

“Nah, I’m good, thanks kid”

Joan nodded, and descended the ladder.

Joan hummed the lullaby again as she wandered the corridor towards the kitchen area. As she walked through the door, her humming turned to singing while she filled the kettle and pressed it to boil.

_ Good evening, good night,  
Bedecked with roses,  
Adorned with carnations,  
Slip under the covers.  
Tomorrow morn, if God wills,  
You'll awake once again.  
Tomorrow morn, if God wills,  
You'll awake once again. _

Joan closed her eyes, yawning as she stirred her tea. It had been weeks since she had slept well. Her dreams were tainted by images of the dead rising, fires raging, cities in ashes, but the most unsettling thing had been the voice that haunted her. It was a deep melodic voice, beautiful but demanding, taunting humanity and on occasion it taunted her directly, bringing up the past she was desperate to forget.

Leaning against the side, she felt she had earned a few minutes peace, bringing the mug to her lips, blowing away the steam and took a sip.

Loud crashes disturbed her peaceful drink. Joan stopped and placed the mug down with caution. As she jogged down the corridor gunshots now rang out from, growing louder as she reached the entrance to the lab. _Be smart and hide,_ she heard Nat’s voice in her head, choosing to lean against the wall, she peered round the doorway, seeing Clint struggle against a tall dark-haired man, who held a glowing sceptre to Clint’s chest.

Joan watched as Clint’s arms went limp and he returned his firearm, seemingly at attention for this new master. Struggling to fight the urge to enter the room, guns blazing, Joan noticed Director Fury attempting to handle the tesseract and their eyes met across the room.

Fury nodded at her urging her to stay put, while he placed the tesseract in a holding case. Joan grasped her M9, and covered Fury from the doorway, aiming at the tall man with the sceptre secretly wanting him to give her a reason to fire, while he was busy using the sceptre on the others. After freeing the tesseract from its cradle, Fury made towards the exit, and the dark-haired man finally spoke.

“Please don’t. I still need that.”

Joan’s stomach knotted as she recognised that voice.

“This doesn’t have to get any messier.” Director Fury snapped back, standing his ground. Joan turned away from the door and leant against the wall, hoping this was all part of a nightmare. She gripped her gun tighter and slowly turned her back head to stranger inside the room.

“Of course, it does,” He declared, his lips curling to a wicked smile. “I’ve come too far for anything else. I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.”


	2. Just Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The devil is here and sometimes bold moves don't pay off ...

Joan tried to relax taking in sharp deep breaths as, listening to Fury attempt to negotiate with the stranger named Loki, watching for any signal to engage. Her eyes turned large swirling portal stood above the men, cracks forming along the ceiling and walls, the noise of the pressure crackling against the domed ceiling. There was not much time before they all would be submerged; though Joan’s heart was not content with leaving this world in a pile of rubble, if it protected the Tesseract from any threat, she was happy to take it.

“Loki? Brother of Thor?” Erik exclaimed. Loki’s head turned to the humble doctor, Joan caught the look of anger that rushed to his face and held her breath- _Don’t you dare_ , she thought, _touch him and I will kill you._

“We have no quarrel with your people.” Said Fury, holding his free hand open, his voice stern.

“An ant has no quarrel with a boot.” Loki shot back.

_This motherfucker_ , Joan thought as she inched closer the edge of the doorway, weapon poised.

“Do you mean to step on us?” Fury questioned, lowering his hand into a fist- A signal to wait.

Joan felt as though she was being watched from the doorway, holding her breath glanced to where her instinct lead- Erik’s old blue eyes met hers, fear and confusion replacing the usual cheerful spirit within them. Erik nodded to her while Loki spoke of his purpose, she returned the gesture with a small smile as an attempt to reassure him.

“I come with glad tidings of a world made free.”

“Free from what?”

“Freedom. Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart.” Loki turned towards her dear friend, placing the spectre to Erik’s chest. Joan looked on helpless, her mouth agape, as the veins in his neck turned blue and his eyes glazed as Clint’s had. “You will know peace.”

Tears pricked her eyes as Clint approached his new master- his movements almost mechanical. “Sir, Director Fury is stalling. This place is about to blow and drop a hundred feet of rock on us. He means to bury us.”

“Like the pharaohs of old.” Fury confirmed, as his free hand relaxed from a fist, Joan raised her aim blinking her tears away.

“He's right. The portal is collapsing in on itself.” Erik chimed in, while packing away his laptop and notebook. “We've got maybe two minutes before this goes critical.”

“Well then…”Loki nodded, as Clint shot towards the director.

As the shot rang out, Joan ran towards the case returning fire on Clint.

Grabbing the case and holstering her weapon, she ran towards the exit corridor, not daring to look behind her.

_Just run, just fucking run._

Footsteps crashed against the floor behind her, rapidly catching up to her, a hand grabbed her hair and shoved her against the wall.

“Dirty tactic, you bastard.” Joan spat, as felt Clint grab her wrist and twist it.

Growling from the pain she gripped the handle of the case tighter. Using her free hand, Joan pushed herself backwards as hard as she could- throwing Clint off of her. Stumbling back, she steadied herself, using the case to smack Clint’s ribs and delivered a kick to his chest for good measure.

Joan carried on sprinting through the automatic doors, not stopping for any of the guards who called after her for fear they were no longer themselves.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she saw the final set of doors in the distance, hope just a short distance away she sprinted. 

A sudden pain stabbed into her back and electricity pulsed through her. Falling forward she only gripped the case tighter as she let out cry. Her legs and torso twitched involuntarily, drool pouring from her mouth forming a small puddle against the stone floor. Hurried footsteps echoed towards her; Joan lay there like a wounded animal as black boots came into her view.

“Well done, Barton.” Loki commended, as Joan wriggled against the floor like a pathetic beast caught in a trap.

“Thank you, sir.” Clint replied, bending down to collect his arrow from Joan’s back- she squealed as it was removed, feeling blood pour from the puncture, but was somewhat grateful the shocks died down. “Sir, doesn’t seem like she’s giving that case up any time soon.”

Joan tried to lift her body to crawl away, as she tried, she felt a boot push her back down.

“Very well.” Loki chuckled, applying pressure to the bleeding wound with his boot, Joan stiffened beneath him, pain flooded her body, guttural noises escaped her mouth against the floor. Loki raised the sceptre and nodded to Clint.

Joan felt hands grip her shoulders and turn her over. Shaking her head and cursing at them she did her best to struggle against her former mentor’s grasp, but the pain made her body fail her.

She knew it was hopeless, as she saw a blue light come towards her chest. The cool metal of the sceptre made contact, and Joan instantly felt a calm sensation ripple throughout her body, her mind free from the pain and worry

She looked to Loki as she handed Clint the case, staring blankly at her new leader- awaiting instructions.

Clint offered his hand; she took it without hesitation and was helped to her feet.

“We need to move quickly.” Erik said, as he shuffled past the trio- the gated door lifting as they reached the garage.

* * *

Clint cleared his throat; “Hill. We will need these vehicles.”

“Evening Barton, under who’s order?” Maria Hill replied, gripping her talkie - sceptical of the stranger who now sat in the back of the truck.

“Director’s orders.”

“Who’s that?”

“They didn’t tell me.”

Maria turned away, raising an eyebrow. “Joan? You ok there?”

“I’m fine.” Joan replied, stepping into the back of the truck.

“You sure?” Maria pressed, noticing a small bleeding tear in the back of Joan’s shirt.

“I said I’m fine.”

“Well… if you’re sure Agent Hawthorne.”

“I’m sure.”

Maria turned back - Joan never allowed anyone to call her an agent.

“Joan, what is going-“

Static from her talkie cut her off. “Hill? Do you copy? Barton is compromised.” Fury’s voice sounded over her talkie.

Removing the gun from her holster, Joan fired towards Maria as the truck pulled away at speed. Keeping her gun primed, she fired on the agents who were following them.

The walls rumbled around them as they drove deeper into the tunnels- cracks growing along the ceilings, debris falling causing Clint to swerve along the tarmac- some of the trucks that chased them were not so lucky and were buried.

As Maria caught up alongside the Clint pulled at the hand break, startling Maria who veered towards the truck, bumpers colliding as Clint hastened towards the exit.

Joan leant against the rear window and began to shoot at their pursuer, the front window shattering leaving Maria more exposed as Clint shot at her.

Maria aimed at Loki- ready to end this chase.

Noticing Maria’s aim Joan shot first striking Maria’s shoulder, allowing Clint to swerve past her and speed through the exit as the tunnel collapsed around them, barely making it to the other side before the portal exploded.

A helicopter hummed overhead, Joan knelt down in the back, slipping out her mag to check how many rounds she had left, 

“I have this. Stay down.” Loki ordered- raising the sceptre a blue orb blasted toward the helicopter. Flames erupted as it crashed toward the ground, smiling at his work, Loki knew the war had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the feedback and kudos! I have indeed used some of the dialogue from the Avengers (2012) as it helps add to the story I want to tell.


	3. Am I safe?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your nightmares follow you like a shadow, forever. ”  
> ― Aleksandar Hemon, The Lazarus Project

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of blood and gore.

_Green, black, then green again._

Loki watched fascinated from across the table as the girl’s eyes flitted between freedom and compliance.

_How is she fighting this?_

Loki had not been prepared for the idea that there could be resistance when it came to those under tesseract. He had been assured of its success by The Other, yet here he sat, watching those mesmerising mortal eyes struggle to submit.

It had been hours since their escape from the campus and since the portal’s closure there had been a change in Joan’s behaviour- she was still and did not speak, even when Loki ordered it. He spent the journey to their new base, retouching the spectre to her chest every so often, feeling obedience but no energy- as if she were mindless.

“Joan?” Erick called to her, dragging a chair next to her, disturbing Loki’s concentration. Settling into his seat the old doctor gripped her chin and gently turned her face to him, cupping her face between his hands, calling her name to rouse her, but Joan’s face remained stoic.

_How is she fighting this?_

Erik sighed letting go of her face. “She’s no good like this.” Joan turned her gaze back to Loki. “She is integral to the success of our plan, sir. Two heads have always been better than one.”

_Green._

A tear rolled down her cheek, her fists clenching then unclenching.

_Black._

She sighed, her chest heaving as if exhausted from whatever internal battle she was waging. Erik took her right hand between his, gently caressing it. “Half of our research lies in this young lady.”

“How long would it take for you to have her knowledge?” aid Loki tapping his fingers on the table, his frustration growing.

_Green,_ more tears.

“Could be days, months even.” Erik concluded after a moment, wiping her cheeks. “She has been with S.H.I.E.L.D far longer than I have. Her knowledge of the Tesseract is different to mine.”

Loki raised an eyebrow.

_Black_.

“You seem intent on protecting her Doctor. Is this sense or sentiment?”

“It is sense to further our cause.” Erik reasoned, feeling Joan grip his hand tight as if in agreement.

Sighing Loki stood and walked around the table towards the girl. Crouching to her level, he stroked her short blonde hair behind her ear, exposing her jawline and neck. Spotting what he thought were shadows dancing across the nape of her neck, only to realise they were flowers tattooed along the nape of her neck, petals cascading down her neck, her t shirt cutting off where they fell.

While his hands traced behind her ear and down her neck, he saw the whites of her knuckles- _A true fighter_ this one, he thought to himself smirking, as he leant close to her ear.

“Svefn.” He whispered.

Joan’s eyes slowly closed as she collapsed against him, fully immersed in a deep sleep, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Barton.” Loki called out, his voice echoing against the bare walls, grasping the sceptre he brought it softly to her chest.

Like a good dog Barton soon appeared, standing at attention.

“How many men do we currently have?”

“Currently 35, sir. All setting up and gathering supplies.”

“Good.” Loki replied, looking at the young lady resting against him, stroking down her face. “Have two men see to the young doctor here.”

*******

“Joan Elizabeth Hawthorne!” a familiar voice sounded over the wind.

Joan opened her eyes and was met with a summer sky. Sunlight blaring into view, she raised a hand to block it, and began blinking rapidly to wake herself. She felt the grass beneath her, taking in a breath she could smell the daisies that grew scattered across the field. Hearing the bird song, made her smile as she sat up. The memory of this place filled her with joy.

_Am I safe?_

Looking round she noticed her sandals neatly placed next to her and put them on.

“Joan Elizabeth Hawthorne, I do not speak for my health. Where are you?”

“Mama?” Joan whispered as she stood. Smoothing the skirts of her white dress, Joan looked across the field of wildflowers and made her way to where her mama’s voice had come from.

“Joanie? Please, come to us.” Another familiar voice sounded from another direction.

“Papa?” She shouted, her eyes welling.

She started to run toward where she thought the voices were sounding from, screaming for them to wait for her, tears spilling down her face. Joan sprinted as far as she could before a cliff edge stopped her, she placed her hands on her hips panting.

“Joan?” Mama whispered from behind her, slowly Joan turned.

Her hands immediately clasped over her mouth, wishing she had the strength to scream.

Mama stood holding hands with Papa, smiling at her. Blood pouring from her throat like a leaking faucet, drenching her blue silk shirt, her skirt ruffled; tights laddered against her thin legs. Joan’s eye drifted to Papa’s head, that was opened like a cracked egg, brain exposed, his chest sprinkled with bleeding stab wounds. 13, just Joan remembered.

“Where are you, my little maus?” said Papa, reaching a hand towards her.

Joan shook her head, begging them to go away.

“Will you be here soon little maus? Mama and I are so worried.” He said frowning.

“We hope you will come home, darling.” Mama gargled- blood dribbling from her mouth as she spoke.

*******

Joan screamed- against the gag as she snapped to reality, her eyes wide, chest heaving.

Her hands were tied, her feet free from binds. She winced as she sat up, pain sliced through her back then round to her sternum as she shuffled to be upright against the wall.

Fluorescent bar lights hung from the ceiling, the tiled walls were thick with grime, grout now coated in mildew from what she could only assume was years of abandonment. The floors were not much better, thick with dirt, she noticed boot marks- two sets- and a long drag outline between them leading to her place. Rusty lockers leant against the wall opposite her- some flung open, their contents long removed, other remained sealed.

Panic filled her mind, as this felt all too familiar. Joan felt as though the walls would drown her, she was a prisoner. 

Raising her binds to her vision- she checked the knot for weakness- single bind amateur job.

_Might be an amateur job, but that doesn’t mean you can slack off,_ she could almost hear Natasha say in her head. Calm down. Breathe. _Remove your gag, then you can work the knot_.

Joan groaned, removing the cloth from her mouth. Clenching then unclenching her jaw she felt it click- _I have been like this a while_ , she thought as she placed the knot in her mouth, biting hard and pulling it loose.

She massaged her wrists as they were freed, then rubbed her eyes. Leaning her head back against the wall- she took a deep breath. _Well isn’t this a fine mess?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of your feedback so far! I am so happy with what I have done so far and cannot wait to improve- Sorry if this one feels short but more is to come!
> 
> Please note maus is meant to be spelt this way :)


	4. Make It Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Defiance has consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for the chapter is I'd Rather Go Blind by Etta James, totally worth a listen for this chapter.

_“_ _Something told me it was over_ _”_

_Good acoustics._

Joan closed her eyes as the lyrics came bouncing back to her. 

_“When I saw you and her talking.  
Something deep down in my soul said, "Cry Girl"  
When I saw you and that girl, walking out” _

Music had been her outlet, she found comfort in being able to put feelings to a melody, escaping into a world of comfort through song. She always felt fortunate that along her intellect she had been blessed with a good voice. 

Psyching herself up she decided to try and stand, using song to distract herself from the inevitable pain she would feel.

_“I-I would rather, I would rather go blind boy_ _  
Than to see you, walk away from me child, and all  
So you see, I love you so-owwww-o much”_

_At least you’re standing,_ she thought letting out an agonised chuckle as she slicked her damp hair back off her face and began to pace the room.

_“That I don't want to watch you leave me baby.  
Most of all, I just don't, I just don't want to be free no.”_

As she walked her mind began to piece together some semblance of a plan. She had no weapons, no allies and no real memory of what had happened after that sceptre touched her chest. Her pace quickened as thoughts fell into place- She knew what she could do, it was madness, but it was worth a shot.

Her eyes fixed to the door, as she wandered about the room singing louder whenever she passed it.

_“I was just, I was just, I was just sitting here thinking.”_

She paused, pressing her ear to the door, she heard heavy footsteps walk by her.

_They know I am awake._

_“Of your kisses and your warm embrace, yeah  
When the reflection in the glass that I held to my lips now baby  
Revealed the tears that was on my face, yeah_”

Turning on her heels, she resumed pacing - _Wonder if I can record in here when all this shit is over_? She thought- Though it was a perfectly wretched locker room, gods damned if this wasn’t the best her voice had sounded.

Metal clicked, as the door was unlocked and two men she did not recognise stood in the doorway; guns pointed at her.

Joan turned her head over her shoulder, keeping her hands by her side.

“I would like to speak to Loki, please.” She requested, her tone calm and polite.

“Hands up.” The smaller guard barked.

Silence.

Slowly she faced them, refusing to raise her hands. The men looked at each other, sharing a look of frustration, they nodded to each other.

Without words the shorter man departed locking the door behind him, leaving his taller colleague to guard the defiant young woman.

When alone left alone with him, Joan could not help but analyse the guard. He was older than most agents she had encountered, his greying moustache neatly trimmed. Had he not been pointing a gun at her; she would have said he had a kind face.

_A wedding ring._ She noted- _He can’t be S.H.I.E.L.D._ They would never allow an agent to be wearing something that could give out a potential weakness. _Where have you come from my tall friend?_

Joan cleared her throat and returned to her song to fill the awkward silence .

“ _And baby, baby, I would rather, I would rather be blind boy. Than to see you walk away, see you walk away from me, yeah. Baby, baby, baby, I'd rather be bli-“_

Grinding metal interrupted her big finish, the door crashed against the wall as it was flung open. Joan held her breath as a familiar figure strolled in.

“Stand down Matthews.” Clint commanded, without hesitation the kind faced guard lowered his weapon. “Outside.”

The taller agent turned, saluted and marched out the door leaving it open. 

“You’ve always been a real pain in my ass Joan, you know that.” Clint sighed, rubbing his temples.

She remained silent, her eyes narrowed, searching his eyes for any sign of the man who raised her- his rich blue eyes now a hollow black. While his eyes were empty, his manners were still there, he seemed himself and not himself all at once. After what felt like an eternity of sizing each other up, a sorrowful smile played across his lips as he opened his arms to her- letting go of all logic she couldn’t help but hurry into them, welcoming the embrace.

“At least I’m consistent.” She mumbled into his chest, as he gripped her tight, mindful of where he had shot her. Pulling away, she continued her search in his eyes, but only darkness stared back at her. “Did _he_ send you?”

He nodded, breaking his grasp on her. “Needed to be sure you weren’t’ in a…hostile mood.”

“Me? Hostile?” She said, looking to the door. “In this situation? Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Promise, kid?” He said extending a hand to her. Sighing, Joan entwined her fingers with his, remembering the wisdom she carried since she was a child; _Be smart, be brave but most of all be calm_.

“Promise.” Said Joan.

* * *

As they all trudged along their footsteps echoed off the high arched ceilings. The lights that hung from them were old, thick with dust, making it hard to see the way before them. Joan did her best to try and read the faded signs that were painted on the walls, some were faded warning symbols, others appeared to be directions to other parts of this facility. She recognised some of them were written in German, others Russian or French but very few were English. One thing she did notice was one universal sign that kept popping up- Danger.

Clint slowed his pace as the dim lights, began to flicker above them, raising his hand he signalled a halt. A thunderous roar rolled through the corridor; a knot formed in Joan’s stomach, as she recalled where she had heard that sound before.

“Tessa.” She whispered, as the lights returned. Lowering his hand, Clint nodded to Matthews and his smaller colleague, resuming their march toward the metal doors at that stood at the end of the hallway.

Upon reaching the doors, Clinton pressed his earpiece. “She’s here…Yes, sir…I’m keeping my eye on her” Joan raised an eyebrow at that, but was startled by the booming clunk of hinges, as the doors opened to a gigantic facility.

Agents and lab assistants, all with the same soulless eyes were working to set up testing apparatus’ and draping plastic curtains to create partitions, the rumble of conversation and banging metal filled the room. Some stopped to look up at her, but quickly returned to their work. Hurried steps approached from her left, snapping her head she was met with a comforting smile.

“Joan, thank god you’re awake. Come.” Said Erik, as he turned signalling for them to follow him. Fighting back tears, she smiled at the old man, turning her head to Clint awaiting his confirmation to follow. Clint obliged, nodding for her to follow Erik as he trailed behind her.

Erik lead them to a curtain, pulling it back and ushering in his colleagues. A long table stood in the middle of the improvised lab with Fury’s suitcase opened and the Tesseract gleaming inside of it. Notebooks lay strewn across the floor, most were Erik’s as Joan preferred her laptop, which to her surprise was placed at the far end of the table. _I don’t remember picking that up._

Joan’s heart raced in her chest as she felt menacing eyes on her. Turning her head to the other side of the room, she saw Loki’s piercing eyes stare back at her.

Meeting his gaze, Joan struggled to maintain her calm composure, rage engulfed her mind. And though she could hear Erik and Clint’s voices, their words were lost to her, as focused her attention on her captor. He was taller than she remembered, his long raven hair was brushed back. He had a look on his face like he knew some cruel joke was about to played and only he knew when.

“Joan?” said Clint, lightly tapping her shoulder, breaking her focus.

“I must say, I am confused Doctor Hawthorne.” Loki tutted, his eyes drifting over her. “You ask to speak with me but here you stand, silent as the dead.”

“You’ll have to forgive me. My mind isn’t quite where it normally is. Bad night’s sleep.” said Joan, folding her arms.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Bad dreams perhaps?”

Joan dug her nails into her flesh - holding back the urge to tell him where he could fuck off to.

“I suppose, I should start with a basic question. Where am I?”

Loki chuckled, twirling the sceptre in his hand. “You know I can’t answer that.”

Lowering her head, she let out a sigh. “Of course.”

Joan looked to Erik, who was assisting two interns as they wheeled in a large whiteboard. Frowning, she watched as he began to work, feeling he was no longer the man she knew.

“What have you done to the others?”

“I have given them the greatest privilege they will ever know.”

“And that is?” Joan questioned furrowing her eyebrows.

“The privilege of subjugation.” He said “To be free from thought or concern- to simply serve and be part of the greater world. To be-”

“I have to know, how many times you practised that speech. I mean, like- did you practise in the bathroom? Or did you have someone rehearse it with you?” Joan interrupted, unable to hold back any longer.

Gritting his teeth, Loki gripped the spectre tighter. “You have already caused enough issues, doctor and there are limits to my patience. Your little rebellion earlier, while fascinating to witness and I will admit it seemed almost a shame to cut it short-“

“What are you talking about?”

“You don’t remember?”

Joan shook her head. All she could recall was watching her friends become slaves to a madman, the agony of the arrow that pierced her back, then the avalanche of calm that washed over her when that spear hit her chest- after that it was a struggle to remember anything other than the nightmare that followed her.

“Strange.” He mused, looking down at the sceptre. “We have to refresh your memory some other time…For now I just need you to access your device.”

Joan looked to her laptop, then back to Loki, laughing to herself. “Why on earth would I do that?”

“Doctor Selvig assures me that the research needed for my success is stored in it. And because it would be far worse if you didn’t do as I asked.”

“For me, or for you?”

“I would advise you stop playing games.”

“Why not just use your spear to make me do it?”

Loki fell silent.

“Barton.” Loki called out.

Instantly Clint strode toward his master, his veins running blue against his pale skin. Joan watched with wide eyes, as Loki raised the sceptre to Clint’s chest. Joan noticed as Clint's eyes returned to normal then suddenly overflowed with fear

“Joanie?” Said Clint, his voice panicked.

“What are you doing?” said Joan, her confident voice cracking, as she saw tears roll down Clint’s face,

“I-I-I can’t move. Joanie, w-what’s happening?” Clint’s body shook violently, his teeth chattering. Joan lunged toward, only to be held back by Matthews, who held a pistol to the back of her head. Joan closed her eyes, letting her own tears fall, feeling utterly helpless-, She knew begging would be useless and knew Clint would want her to stay strong.

“I did say there are limits to my patience, Doctor.” Loki teased as he pressed the sceptre to Clint’s chest a loud scream escaped Clint’s mouth. “I can ease his pain, look at him-LOOK AT HIM- Look at what you have done to him. It can all stop. I can stop his pain, as I stopped yours.”

Joan’s eye fluttered open, seeing the pain in Clint’s eyes, his cries deafening.

“OK!” Joan shouted. “Make it stop!”

“The device first, Doctor.”

She pushed past Matthews and ran toward her laptop, opening the lid she typed in her password, spinning it round to satisfy Loki that she had kept her end of the deal. Smiling Loki raised the sceptre, muttering as he pressed it once more into Clint’s chest.

“Good. Very good, that wasn’t so hard was it, Doctor Hawthorne.” He purred.

Joan scowled at him, unable to hide her hatred.

“Now Doctor, please take a seat, we have a lot to discuss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a long one, so if you read it all- thank you! This took my brain a while to put together and it all felt too necessary to split up. Let me know what you think and hope you stick around for more! 
> 
> Thank you for all of the support for this story so far, all of your lovely comments motivate me to carry on.


	5. **Update for Chapter 5**

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a lil update :)

Hey y'all! 

I have been extremely slow to update this story due to some personal issues, as well as moving and sorting my life out.

Everything seems to be a lot more positive lately, and the pesky writers block seems to be lifting, so I plan to release more chapters as soon as possible. I want to say a huge thank you to all of the lovely humans who have bookmarked, left kudos and commented, as well as every single reader who has encountered my story so far. 

I cannot wait to write and share more! 

HexyQueen x

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of fun so please be gentle as I haven't written properly for a while :D First time publishing- Plan to release more soon!


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